The beautiful lady, standing proud in the photo was my great grandmother, Lynda Kennedy, and one of the strongest women in my life.
Lynda married Mr. Mullen in 1901, and he turned out to be a very abusive husband. I often heard the story about the first time he hit her. She said, "If it happens again you better make certain I am dead, because if you ever harm me again, I guarantee, you won't wake up again." Lynda reminded him that sooner or later he had to go to sleep. She didn't wait for sleep the next time it happened, instead a loaded .45 caliber pistol was stuck in his face.
Women were given the legal right to divorce, keep their own money and have custody of their children in the late 1800's. Lynda went against society. She divorced Mullen, and raised her son alone.
Lynda's sister Annette never married and they both worked as clerks in the local railroad office. Lynda also leased out rooms of the house she owned to boarders.
Her son Leo, played the piano, the mandolin, and was a member of the Auburn University Glee Club. My grandfather made Lynda proud, as he was always a gentleman that rarely raised his voice. He showered my grandmother with a love that I still hold onto as the epitome of love.
Lynda's teachings took root in her son and the rest of her family. Granny's (as we called her) philosophy on the meaning of truth and honesty was this; "You say what you mean and mean what you say, and one should speak so, as to not be misunderstood."
Her greatest bit of wisdom she whispered in my ear, "never forget how to play." She loved to play with my brothers and me. She taught us how to release fairies from crystal prisms, to see shapes in the clouds, and to use our imaginations.
The difference between Lynda and other women was evident when I was outside with my then mother-in-law. I looked up at the clouds and saw a rabbit running so fast that his ears were laid back and his front legs were between his hind legs. Mrs. Martin, my mother-in-law said "don't be silly, that is childishness." My retort was how my 96-year-old great grandmother taught me to see those things, and she was not a child, just a child at heart.
Lynda's wisdom had been passed down to her son, to my Mom and to me. We all played when I was growing up. It is too sad that Chappel, my son, never got to meet her.
Chappel and I spent the summer of 1988 in Baltimore, MD. We took a walk near the campus of Johns Hopkins University on a divided avenue. Between the two sides of the avenue was a small wooded, grassy ravine with a gazebo. A perfect location for a game of war. We decided to call a truce in our war, and we sat down inside the gazebo. My son walked over, put his arm on my shoulder and said, "Mom you know how to play. Most adults play at playing, but you really know how to play." At that moment I knew Lynda was with me and I understood her wisdom. My son gave me the greatest compliment I've ever received.
Chappel is now thirty-three, married and his wife is expecting a baby girl. I hope my son and I can pass on to another generation the meaning of true fun, and may Sophia (my yet unborn granddaughter's name) always remember how to play.
All things about what makes women stronger.
3 comments:
My candidate for a strong woman in my life is my daughter Teddee. In 1998 when I had a complete mental breakdown, she had to become the mother to me and the wife to Ted. She cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, even made a weekly grocery list--all at the age of twelve. Instead of being bitter or resenting me for this, she thanked me that it taught her the independence needed to attend the math and science school down in Mobile. She always found the good in any situation. While in college, her dad and I split up. She said that she was fine, but her grades told another story. Because I had run out of college money, she dropped out. She worked in places that required her to learn a skill in order to make better wages. In 2005, at age 21, she purchased a house. She also studied for her insurance adjuster's license. Of course, no hurricane hit for the next two years and her license expired. Always persevering, she returned to online college at Troy State University. She married in 2006. She went to school full time, worked full time, took care of a sick husband, and ran a large reptile rescue. She graduated this past May. The economy was conducive for her using her degree to get a better paying job. She is teaching herself Spanish to be bilingual and also reading 15 books to that the PSHR exam so she can work in human resources. This woman never gives up and never lets life get her down. Instead of giving up, she always tries to better her life and the life of those around her.
I wasn't lucky enough to know Lynda, but I know her great-granddaughter, and she's a pretty strong lady herself! I know Lynda has to be proud of her.
And I couldn't agree more about never forgetting how to play. The sad thing is that some children never learn how to do it at all and grow up to be adults with no joy in their lives. We need to find them and teach them how to play, Cece!
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